Carpool the musical, web blog edditon

Well, I finished writing Carpool the musical and now that the rest of the team is moving into production phase, I will be free to get back to my other writing (novel is nearly finished...yeah!) But before I do... a little fan tribute to Joss Wheadon's Dr. Horrible sing along web blog. Myself and the rest of the Carpool team are big fans and had lots of discussions about Dr. Horrible while writing Carpool, so for fun, I banged out the first act in a three part web series... Carpool the musical web blog (using the Dr. Horrible format).

Here is a taste (It may not look properly formatted as I wrote in in Celtix and Blogger doesn't play nice)


ACT 1:

INT. Bathroom -- day

A man steps out of the shower and wraps a towel around his waist, he walks to the sink and wipes away the steam, revealing his face for the first time, then writes Todd in the remaining fogged portion of the mirror with his finger.

Todd:

Captains blog, star date 2009. While exploring an anomaly in the shower quadrant, I have been sucked into an alternate reality by an entity called sexy man beast. It would seem that Sexy man beast wishes to imbue me with charisma and good looks that Jenny will be unable to resist...

TODD: Continued

(Hums Star Trek theme)

TODD: CONTINUED

So today's the day… Jenny joins the carpool. I recruited her. I used the interoffice messenger app. A lot of guys ignore sanctioned office communication and that’s just stupid. I mean, if you want to talk to chicks in the office, you have to use their tools. Do you think Bill in accounting got Angelina on looks alone... he messaged her... with his phone... his bitchin company phone...

TODD: CONTINUED


No word BTW, from the company about the productivity contest yet but I'm looking good this quarter. My productivity is up 10% over last year. That’s gotta put me in the top three, so, fingers crossed.

TODD: CONTINUED

Grabs a journal off the back of the toilet and flips it open


Self accountability time! Lets see... goals due today: Here's a physical goal. “By today you should have been working out everyday for three months and Angelina should be swinging naked from your sick guns.”
(breaking from reading)
Angelina was so two months ago.
"Lets see those 14 inch biceps, killer!"
(groans and rolls eyes)

TODD: CONTINUED

Well no, there not quite 14 inches, yet. But BEHOLD. Visible bicep ball with some cool vein action. (flexes bicep and kisses it)

TODD: CONTINUED


The free weights are always taken by the big… gym… guys, but, they have gotten noticeably more defined… (By the way,its not all about size, that was a stupid goal. Clearly women prefer definition and tone to brute meat-head... ed ...ness. I don't want to be huge, just ripped.) I'll keep at it…

Todd gives his bicep one more flex and another kiss, this time he wrinkles his nose and then sniffs his underarm.

Todd:

How can you have B.O. three minuets after taking a shower... really? Come on!

TODD: CONTINUED

So, biceps are getting there AND more importantly, the six pack is starting to show. Its like a four pack at the moment. Chicks are gonna dig this . Six pack. Washboard abs. Goal in the bag.

TODD: CONTINUED

Next… OH! Here’s one from the brain's category. “As of today, you should have finished reading and mastering verbal judo and then given Greg Grant (that dick) a good verbal ass whopping before he has a chance to whip out any Todd jokes in the lunch room.”

TODD: CONTINUED


OK, look, that book sucked but I DID finish it. I can handle Greg. Greg Grant, Cubicle Comedian. He told the cold water, small penis story… Again… yesterday.

TODD: CONTINUED


Bruce Lee said to flow like water and that's what I'm doing, OK? If I go along with it and pretend it doesn't bother me... Besides, I don't want Jenny to think I'm an asshole, so…

TODD: CONTINUED


Here’s one from Double your Dating. David DeAngelo writes good goals. “Women hate a wussy, over the next three months, any time you meet a woman, use cocky funny. Also work on that body language...”
(squares shoulders)
Ugh…
“It's time to stop settling for girlfriends, instead pick one and make her yours, stick with my lessons and in three months you will master interactions with hot girls” …

Lunch Room. INT --Day

Todd is sitting at a table with a cafeteria style lunch tray picking at his food and watching co-workers move down the lunch line.

TODD:

(singing)

All alone, sitting here, eating lunch, looking queer. Coworkers, mostly lame, some are fat, they still got game.

I wish that I could CHANGE my life.

Id snap my fingers and Id LIVE that life.

A cute blond woman approaches Todd's table and sits down with her tray.

Blond:

Gary from accounting, right?

TODD:

Todd, from auditing. Your Jenny from sales...

Jenny:

You look like such a Gary.

TODD:

I get that a lot, I may change my name...

TODD:

(singing)

Oh my God, sitting there, eating lunch, without a care.

Here I am, acting gay, sweaty palms, what to say?

I wish that I could CHANGE my life.

Id take her hand and make HER my wife.

I wish she could just see my soul
She'd see inside a well of love,
know that we are hand and glove.
I'll pluck the stars from the sky,
forever just one gal and one guy.

I'm in love,
love with you.
You and me
cant you see.

TODD:

(Singing)

You look nice.

JENNY:

Huh?

TODD:
(shaking empty fountain soda)

I said... uh, too much ice.

TODD:

(singing)

I wish that I could CHANGE...

Int. Todd's house. Day

The door bell rings, Todd straitens his tie then answers the door. A similarly dressed male with slightly messy hair is standing on the welcome mat.

Man:

Hey.

Todd:

Matt, my carpool com padre. Whats the good news?

Matt:

I woke up alive. Ran over your paper.

Todd takes a slightly shredded newspaper from Matt.

Todd:


Hey, happy anniversary. Didn’t you and Lisa celebrate your fifth last night? Alan told me you spent a fortune at Godiva.

Matt:


Yeah, I guess..

Todd:


You guess?

Matt:


She invited Sharon. I kinda thought I was supposed to get in on the whole three way action, but…

Todd:


Tough break, she let you watch this time?

MATT:

Yeah.

TODD:

Jenny sat next to me at lunch yesterday.

Matt:


You talk to her?

Todd:


Sort of. She thought my name was Gary... I tried the whole cocky funny thing with her.

MATT:

How'd that go?

TODD:

I think I broke some ground. She still doesn't know I'm the one behind the whole carpool thing...
(Looks at watch)
Whoa!

MATT:

Time to go?


Todd:

7:10! I don't want to be late picking Jenny up.

Todd and Matt leave the house and get into Todd's four door sedan.

Int. Car-- Day

Todd starts the car and turns the radio on and Jenny Jenny by Tommy Tutone is playing as he pulls out of his driveway.

Matt:


Jenny Jenny? No F-ing way!

Todd:


Its a sign from the 80's.

Matt:


I heart this song.

Matt and Todd:

(singing)



Jenny, Jenny, who can I turn to? You give me something I can hold onto I know you think I'm like the others before Who saw your name and number on the wall Jenny, I got your number, I need to make you mine. Jenny, don't change your number, 8-6-7-5-3-0-9 (8-6-7-5-3-0-9) 8-6-7-5-3-0-9 (8-6-7-5-3-0-9)

Jenny, Jenny, you're the girl for me. You don't know me but you make me so happy. I tried to call you before but I lost my nerve. I tried my imagination, but I was disturbed. Jenny, I got your number, I need to make you mine. Jenny, don't change your number, 8-6-7-5-3-0-9 (8-6-7-5-3-0-9) 8-6-7-5-3-0...


Matt:


Wait... why is it a sign?

Todd:


Are you kidding? I’m about to pick up the girl of my dreams... my future wife... JENNY... and WOLF is playing Jenny Jenny! Its like God is giving me the green light.

Matt:

Jenny, carpool Jenny?

Todd:


Carpool Jenny. Pay attention.

Matt:


You want me to play wing man, talk about how rad you are, or…?

Todd:


Thanks, but… I'm working on solo game, Ive got to do this on my own.

Ext. Jenny's Apartment-- day

Jenny is standing at the edge of her parking lot watching cars go by. She puts her hand on the trunk of a tree and then hugs it.

Jenny:

(Singing)


Earth, I'm gonna do my best
to help you grow and heal.
Promise I will do my part
and never break that deal.

A couple of bums walk by pushing shopping carts filled with junk.

Jenny: Continued

(talking to the bums)

Hug a tree?
No? How bout you?

Todd and Matt pull up next to Jenny and Todd gets out of the car just in time to see Jenny hug the tree again and then kiss it.



Todd:


Whoa!

Jenny:


Oh. Oh.

Todd:


Ugh. Ah. Hah. What...are you...?

Jenny:


I was just… Hey, I know you!

Todd:


Hello. Rad. Umm... Yeah, you do. Car pool?

Jenny:


From lunch. Tony from accounting, right?

Todd:


Your Jenny!...From sales. You sit next to Omar, and you take your shoes off when your at your desk. On Mondays you listen to Enya but on Fridays its Peter Gabriel... I love that...Um, if your the same Jenny I'm thinking of. I could be confusing you with someone else, I probably am... Todd from auditing.

Jenny:


Jenny, yeah. How do you know about the shoe thing... I mean?

Todd:


I’m connected. Kind of like inter-office CIA. What are you doing to that tree?

Jenny:


Actually I’m starting a movement, save the urban wilderness. Wanna hear about it?

Todd:


Umm… sure, lay it on me.

Jenny:


OK, I wanna start a group and stage a protest on behalf of the environment. There's this old park in St. Johns and they are going cut the trees down and build a Good will. If I can just get enough people to come out and love a tree...

Todd:

(Rolls his eyes)

Love a tree? *pfft*

Jenny:


Yeah. Whats wrong?

Todd:

Oh, nothing, allergies. I'm allergic to uh, smog. No, Go ahead I wanna hear.

Jenny:


I was saying um, maybe we could get enough people to protest and save the park. We could plant new tree's, get the inner city kids involved… sell cocaine to toddlers… play kickball with puppies… Your not listening... probably don't like trees do you?

Todd:


No, I'm listening. But its only one park. It's like trying to treat a severed arm with a band aid. Industry will keep killing parks. So I think we should kill it first.

Jenny:


Kill the park?

Todd:


Look, we need to either stop the advancement of technology or speed it up. I say we speed it up and then save the environment with nano technology or something.

Jenny:


I read ya… My mission is to save the park…

Todd:

When do we meet?

Jenny:


Thanks, Ill let you know.

Todd:


Great, Hey, sorry its... were going to hit traffic, and we still have to get Ted, and Alan...

Jenny:


Right, right. Hey! You joined. Your my first joiner.

Todd:


Your in the carpool, we ride together we die together…

Jenny:


Wow, hardcore, and I'm in? … We should probably get going.

Todd:

Yeah, full fledged. Lets roll.

EXT. JENNY'S APARTMENT-- Continued

Todd and Jenny get in Todd's car and he backs out and takes off down the street.

Todd:

(Monologue in the rear view mirror)


She asked me to join her movement. What do I do now David De Angelo? Maybe I should…

Todd angles the rear view mirror to see Jenny. She smiles and shakes hands with Matt who is sitting in the front seat. To Todd its in mute as his own thoughts are overpowering the scene.


Todd:

(singing)


Time to be a man, stop being so afraid.
You gotta take a risk or your never getting laid.
All Ive got to do is take her by the hand.
Sure, loves a scary thing, but its mine to command.

Ext. Driveway--day

Todd pulls into a driveway and a frat boy looking guy with a polo shirt and khaki pants gets in the car. He slides in next to Jenny and scopes her out. He smiles at her and winks. Jenny blushes and smiles back.

Ted:

(singing to the same music as Todd)


Hold on everyone
Whats this I see?
Just a sexy girl
And she's sitting next to me.
She's lucky the Ted is here
and hes never been a tease
This babe needs my loving expertise.

Ted takes Jenny's hand and kisses it.

Ted:

(Still singing)

Lucky I'm such a man, Ive never been afraid.
Its never any risk to assume Ill be getting laid.
All Ive got to do is take her by the hand.
Sure, shes a fragile thing, but shes mine to command.

When Todd see's Jenny going moon eyed over Ted's superficial charms, he reaches in the back seat and punches Ted's leg. Ted grabs his hand and puts it in an arm bar behind the drivers seat, causing Todd to swerve into oncoming traffic, then back into and across all lanes of the correct side of the freeway. Todd slams the breaks and skids to a halt on the side of the road. Ted lets go of Todd's arm and they both get out of the car angerly.


Todd:

You dumb ass!

Ted:


You tried to fondle me. Greg was right... you ARE gay.

Todd:


You almost got her...us killed!

Ted:


You almost had my junk in your hand... Wait...

(Ted looks at Jenny attempting to fix her disheveled hair in the car)

Todd:
Is she? Your an asshole.

Ted:


You like her. To bad your gay, gay guys don't get the vagina, the Ted does though...

Ted gets back in the car and puts his arm around Jenny, in a comforting, caring way while leering at Todd through the window.

Jenny:

(Singing)


Thank you so much Ted, If you hadn't stopped his seizure
I'm sure that we would all be dead.
Then who would save the park; Would someone take the banner?
Ted you have such a gentle manner.

Ted:

It was nothing.

(Singing)

Lucky I'm such a man, Ive never been afraid.

Jenny:

(Singing duet with Ted)


(I bet you weren't even afraid)

Todd:

(Speaking over duet)


Is this happening?

Ted:

(Singing continued)


Its like I was in the car, just lend you aid.

Todd:

(speaking over duet)


What planet are you on?

Jenny:

(Duet with Ted)


I wonder if you love trees

Todd:

(Singing over duet)


Hes undressing her with his eyes

Ted:

(Singing continued)


When your as fit as the Ted, you cant help but use your head.

Todd:

(Singing over duet)


Didn't you see him twist my arm?

Jenny:

(Duet with Ted)


I cant stop my heart from beating like a drum

Ted:

(Singing continued)


You seem really out of breath. My place is close and you can use my bed

Jenny:

(Duet with Ted)


feeling… feeling a little dizzy

Todd:

(Singing over duet)


I stopped the car, me. Teds the dick face here, cant you see?

Ted:

(Singing)


Its lucky for us all, that I am such a winner.

Jenny:

(Duet with Ted)



Were all so lucky Ted is such a winner

Todd:

(Singing over duet)


Whatever

Ted:

(Singing continued)


If you really want to thank me, some sex, or maybe... dinner.

Jenny:

(Duet with Ted)


I really want to thank you, no sex, but how about some dinner?

Todd gets back in the car and slams the door. Matt pats Todd's shoulder and mouths the word asshole while nodding to Ted in the back seat.


Todd:

(Under breath)


This is Jacked.